I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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