I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
