Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
