I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she smelled like a LAN party
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
