look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
