I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
