My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
