that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
