I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
even my farts smell like vagina
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
