That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
