He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
