I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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