Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
