WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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