your room smells of hookers.
And success
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
