he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
