Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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