On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
