I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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