OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
