apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
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I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
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FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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