Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
