thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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