I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
