dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
