I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just pee around me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
