if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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