Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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