Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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