Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
