I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
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Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
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And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.