So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.