Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You coming home soon, man?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.