who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
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Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now