just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i drank out of a bidet.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great