I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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