I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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