i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
