why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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