it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I need a beard to bite.
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