you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
