But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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