therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
