Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize