i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
