Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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