Me. At least after what I've been through.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
