I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
