I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
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i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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