no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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