just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
