Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have fence marks all over my body
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
