Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
