nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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