You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
