never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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