i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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