Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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