I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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