how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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