you traded sex for a burrito?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Randomize
