I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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