Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
